dont think your cut out for this mate

How does every racist joke start?



With a look over your shoulder.

Two budgies sat on a perch,one says can u smell fish?

I'm having a chicken Tarka for tea,it's like a tikka but a little otter...

Women walks past pet shop on trinity walk and see's sign in window. 'INCREDIBLE LOVE MAKING FROG'. Women thinks she will have some of this. she walks in the store up to the counter and rings the bell. Julian rinaldi pops up form under the desk, 'oui'.

i accidently inflated my blow up doll with helium.



now she is playing hard to get

Man and woman on a first date in a pub. Early on after polite chit chat woman says to man, 'just going to use the facilities'. After a bit longer than he expected she returns. Man says to woman 'been for a crap?'

A psychiatrist conducted a group therapy session with 4 mothers. "You all have obsession..." To the 1st mother he said, "You are obsessed with eating and named your daughter Candy", to the 2nd mother, "Your obsession is with money and named your child Penny", to the 3rd mother, "Yours is alcohol and you named your child Brandy". At this point the 4th mother gets up, takes her son's hand and whispers, "Come on Dick, we're leaving

I see that the transitional government in Libya have told David Cameron that if they capture Gaddafi they'll put him where he can do no harm.



So that'll be in cas's forward line then!

The police are on the lookout for someone who has stabbed 6 people with knitting needles.



A police spokesman said that the culprit is following a pattern.

The fireman climbs the ladder to the bedroom of a burning house, where he finds a stunning brunette.



"Ah", he says, "you're the third preganant woman I've rescued this month"

"But I'm not pregnant", she replied

"You're not rescued yet"

I was in Minneapolis the other day...



Until Mr. Apolis returned home unexpectedly.